whirlwind

Ever since I landed I've been moving. The day after I arrived I started my new job and was in such a stupor I've almost totally forgotten about it.

Work is hard but I feel like in getting the hang of it, and I've never been afraid of hard work. This is really pushing me to be my most professional. Professionalism means something totally different in New York than it does in San Feancisco and I'm definitely feeling the culture clash. I'm relying heavily on Candace who is being so kind and generous but she is just so busy. She works around the clock literally. She goes to work and works and works, and come home and works and works. I'm trying to keep up and do my best, I just want to come off as polished and I'm not sure that I'm succeeding. My new motto is "don't let 'em see you sweat."

After a major pep talk from Candace last night I walked into the office today and tried to pretend like I've known everyone for the last 5 years, but people are taken aback a bit when I say "it's all good" and "cool." It's the details, details, details to remember, always being on my game, ironing my clothes, taking out piercings, covering tattoos, polishing my shoes. It's the corporate America I've watched movies about and I got one show for impressions. People do seen laid back with each other but I'm still feeling out my boundaries.

Honestly, the toughest part has been being without wi-fi. I just ran out of the office to pick up my shoes from being repaired/polished and found this little hole in the wall french cafe with wifi. I'm moving in. They open at 7:30 and I plan on being here on the dot to try and get some blogging in. Now that I'm here and wifi is hard to come by this is going to be my lifeline to my dear ones out in California.

There are so many people I miss. Mostly my family and besties. I haven't really had time to think about it too much but for the first few days it was rough to talk to my mom because I would burst into tears. The first few days were a weird dream. Candace has her head in the business and I'm sort of wandering through this big city. I love the energy but I feel dizzy trying to figure stuff out.

So far I found: the post office, the trader joes, the bus line to Chris' house, a shoe repair, and I signed up for the public pool (which was free!).

There have been some magical moments. There's tons of those puffy seeds floating in the wind through out the city. When I was a kid I used to catch them, wish on them and blow them into the wind. I feel like they're reminders of just how hard I wished for this. And there's fireflies in the park. Not that many but enough to feel like there's a little magic in the air.